Badsha (Tamil) –An Ever Green Movie

It's ever green! Even after seeing seven times, on Eideth time I felt excited when I was watching the Movie "Badsha" on TV yesterday. Badsha got released when I was studying Engineering at Coimbatore. I think it was going on K G Theatre. I might have seen twice in theatre. After that when ever I got a chance to watch the movie in TV, CDs, I have never missed the chance. I hope I'll get more chances in future also. Because the movie is a mega hit. Any remembrances of Rajni Kanth go without Badsha. The beauty of Badsha is when ever I watched the movie; the earlier seeing of the movie has never reduced the thrill and pleasure of watching it. Movie with perfect blend of sentiments and action!

Every scene in the movie has been customized for Rajni Kanth. Also, the scenes for supporting roles were so perfectly made to bring out Rajni Kanth as a son, Rajni Kanth as an elder brother, Rajni Kanth as a friend and Rajni Kanth as a lover boy. I could not imagine that if someone else had done the movie, whether it could have been such an interesting one.

The movie started a new style of Punch dialogue for Hero in Tamil Action movies. But I believe no one has perfected than Rajni Kanth. The punch dialogue of the movie "Nan Oru thadavai sonna, Nooru thadavai sonna mathiri" remains unforgettable and recalls Rajni Kanth when ever the dialogue is heard.

His attraction is his eyes. So powerful! So sharp! It just catches hold of me. His eyes speak more than his dialogues. That's why some of the dialogues in the movie like "Ulle Po", "Innoru thadavai nan unnai intha idathula Parthen, partha Idathula Kuli thondi puthaichiruven", remain ever green in mind.

Thanks to CI TV which telecasted the movie on last Friday!

Wedding Invitation with a Dedication

First Dedication, Then the Invitation

I dedicate my "Life in 20's" to all my Friends!

Life in 20s

More than three decades are over from the day I was blessed in this world. In these three decades, the last decade, 20's of my life was so cheerful. Because it's an era of friendship! Here I am musing over my life in 20s. I dedicate "my life in 20s" to you, to all my friends.

20s the period, I started understanding the meaning of life. It's the period which transformed me from dependent adult to independent family man. It's the period of romantic infatuation and love. It's the funnel of time through which I was directed to my naukri and chhokri.

When I was crawling, my mom made the way for me. When I was walking step by step, my mom held me. When I started running in the street, my mom cautioned me. When I started cycling; my dad ran behind me. When I was crossing kamuthi borders, my dad accompanied me. Hmm… till 20s I was protected in a shell.

20s is the period; I started living life on my own. I proved myself to the world. I comforted my parents a lot. When my parents were worried about my travel beyond kamuthi, I proved that I could live any where in the world. When they were waiting for my call for money, I showed them my salary slip and bank balance. When they were worried about my class room learning, I shared them my life experiences.

20s is the period; I realized the value of the money. First time, I understood what is "possible" and what is not "possible" with my money. Before that everything was possible by a phone call. Whom else! Dad the great! But the self-earned money gave me a lot of freedom. Freedom to spend as I wish! Freedom to change from unbranded clothes to branded clothes! Freedom to choose 100 cc bike instead of a 50 cc moped! Freedom to go for a tour with friends without being questioned! Freedom to go for Saturday night booze! Last but not the least freedom to help my friend in need!

20s are the period; I went through infatuation and love. Teens are sweet. But for me 20s were sweeter than teens. Everywhere prospects appeared. Everyone appeared as prospects! In neighborhood, in bus stop, in college, in office, in temple! Some were long chase, some were short-cuts, some were cut short, some were one-way , some were no entry, some were at unreachable height, and some were barricaded! It's the period of romance with thrill! Unknowingly looking at her! Unknowingly following her! Unknowingly listening to her! Unknowingly day dreaming about her! Crazy life! Life with 1% reality and 99 % imagination! But every time my friends were there, to pull me back into reality. Like the jumping ball coming to a halt, the wavering mind came to a halt at the end at the end of 20's. Got engaged and fell in love. Life with 99 % reality and 1 % imagination! Romantic 20's!

20s is the period; I got a lot of friends. When I started living away from the home, friends started living with me. Colleagues, classmates, seniors, juniors, roommates, neighbors, Oorrmates… friends came in many forms; Not only I ate with the friends; Not only I drank with the friends; Not only I played with the friends, but also I lived every moments with friends. Friends became my companion, Friends became my mentor, Friends became my criticizers, Friends became my support and Friends became my entertainment. To say in a simple word, Friends became my life. It's an era of friendship in my life.

20s is the same period, I bid farewell to a lot of friends. The Last day in CIT, The Last day in MPL, The Last day in HPL, The Last day in BIM and The Last day in GEA like that there were several occasions. Every farewell was painful separation. Emotions ran high; but definitely there was hope of meeting everyone in a better position in future. Every time new friends added to my life. But I lost the pleasure of doing things together with old friends. Old friends are never forgettable. Always they reside in my heart.

I dedicate" my life in 20s" to all my friends! Cheerful 20s!!!

If god appears before me, I'll ask him a chance either to re-live the 20s once again or at least to meet all my friends on my wedding . Here is my wedding invitation, for you, for my friend. I hope to meet you on my wedding.

Please click the link ( http://www.geocities.com/mram1976/Invitation.htm)

NBA- A case of failure to play around the system!

Good & bad, Vice& Virtue never happen in absoluteness. Whether dams are good or bad, Whether Government machinery is vice or virtue- We can't decide them in absolute. It depends. When one perceives it as Good the other perceives it as bad. NBA's battle for stopping the construction of the dam for more than fourteen years is a best example for it.

The recent Supreme Court judgment to continue the construction of the dam, should have hit the NBAs strongly. I started following the issue after reading the Greater common good by Ms. Arundhathi Roy. One of the finest research papers on Dams.

Where they failed? It’s the failure to play around the system. Just look at it. It’s the one issue the congress,the BJP and the major political rivals are united. Atleast NBA should have adopted divide and play policy. Atleast they should have won the support of one party . Also, On the name of voicing their opinion for greater common good, they have antagonized not only the Government machineries but also the personalities like Narendra Modi.

Their fight against the construction of dam is portrayed as obstruction for the solution for the thirst of millions of people. Their fight against destruction has been portrayed as the fight against the development. Their fight against the power has been portrayed as fight against the Government. Their support for the poorest of the poor has been portrayed as the fight against the largest middle class of the states; their support for the greater common good has been portrayed as the failure to envision the larger picture of the issue. The rational reason for these distortions may be the difference in perception of good and bad. But personal egos fuelled the division and distortion further.

In legal world rarely, "mind to mind" communication happens. It's simply paper to paper communication. The legal world doesn’t believe what it sees, it doesn’t believe what it hears, and it doesn't believe what it listens. It believes only in official records. In official records rehabilitation has been done. In official records, the dam is projected as the solution for the thirst. In official records, the social activists are portrayed as obstructionist. Ultimately the construction has been allowed to continue. Even though NBAs got the fighting sprit, even though they got the media space, Even though they attracted film stars into their campaign, they failed to play around the system.

Globalization, Dams, Nuclear weapon, measuring the prosperity with GDP growth has become the necessary evil. It's like catching the tail of the tiger. If we give up any of the above they will destroy us. That's why more and more nations are joining WTO, more and more nations want to become n-power. When anyone makes the point against any of the above, they have to provide the viable alternative which convinces the entire system or have the power to enforce on the system. NBA has failed in both ways. They don’t have any power or authority to stop the construction of the dam and also they have not convinced the system with viable alternative.

Check this link for the SC judgment
http://www.narmada.org/sardar-sarovar/sc.ruling/nba.comments.html#judgments

DHULR-Dowry hidden under Love and Responsibility

I asked my dad," Are we taking Dowry?" He strongly denied. Then, I asked what about the "so and so items"…. He replied that "so and so items" are customary…It’s given by your father-in-law with love and also it’s his responsibility. Hmm… Dowry hidden under Love and responsibility!

Everyone feels disgraced if they are told that they are collecting dowry. Because generally dowry is related to abuse, harassment, stove deaths etc… it's attached with a negative connotation. That's why people don’t claim that they take dowry. They cover it under love and responsibility.

According to Dowry Prohibition Act'1961 taking or giving dowry is illegal. But the legal world gets into action only when the abuse is reported. So till that being reported, the dowry is allowed. Till it gets reported it's categorized under various names like "gift", "seer", "Kanyadhanam". But for uniformity we could call it as DHULR- Dowry Hidden Under Love and Responsibility. Here I focus only on DHULR.

As a human being we are happier about our exposing our material possessions. Marriage is one of the chances to expose our wealth to the world. Every one does it within their reach. Mittal did it in millions of Pounds; Average middle class do it in Lakhs of rupees. This show-off leads to exorbitant dowries among the affluent families. There is no limit on the upper side for the dowry for these families. These people create the benchmark for the wrong cause. It's simply display of their affordability and arrogance rather than love and responsibility!

Generally in the marriage market, the worth of groom is gauged by the quantum of dowry he is able to fetch. Higher qualification, higher earning potential, higher expectations on inheritance fetch more dowries for a groom. It's just like the discounted cash flow method for business valuation. Project the future revenues/profits and discount it to present value. Only difference is that it's being done mentally without the help of Excel sheets. But the principle is same. Nowadays, groom's worth should have been increased a lot. Because Gold is trading at its 25 years high and expected to continuously increase in future. The uniqueness of this market is people don't believe in the unit values. Generally the negotiation happens in multiples of tens only. For example, 60 savarans come after 50 Savarans. 51, 52, 53 don’t fit for consideration. But when they go to buy the gold for self, they talk in grams. Simple contradictions!

The next reason for existence of dowry is that the rich dad wants his rich daughter to continue her rich life style in her in-laws house. So he dumps what ever possible by him as dowry. He ensures the materialistic comfort of his daughter every where she goes. He should be a Hutch Person! So, he pays dowry. He says, its love. He says it's his responsibility! But he forgets how irresponsible he is by making his daughter lazy, inflexible in life. Some time this happens in redundancy also. For example, Already the "so-and so items" may be with the groom's family. But still the "so and so items" are wanted as dowry. Greediness hidden under obligations!

The next reason could be drawing wrong equations. If you ask any groom's father, his response will be, I did for my daughter, and so what's wrong in insisting on my son's wedding. It's like drawing equation, A + B = C. Similarly the equations are drawn from other’s marriage. For example, in a family if the elder brother had fetched a car, then it may be the customary obligation for the in-laws of younger brother also.

Sometimes I wonder, People talk of their hardships for their daughter's marriage. But when it comes to son's wedding, selective amnesia happens. They forget to say loudly that I suffered during my daughter's wedding, so I don’t want to pass the same troubles to my daughter-in-law. Don’t they see the "daughter" in "daughter-in-law?"

DHULR has a positive side also. It's considered as the help to the young couples to establish the family. But when both the bride and groom is equally investing their life time on the marriage, why the responsibility is skewed towards the bride's side. More time DHULR loses it's rationality under ego, greed, social pressure etc. Because people are irrational with customary obligations! Beyond everything DHULR paves the way for dowry abuses and harassments. May not be in their families, but in other families! The best way is to avoid DHULR also. Let us avoid DHULR!

P.s: All the views are personal but the depicted characters,the groom, father, and in-laws are not from personal experience. Nowadys I watch a lot TV dramas.

Indian – A lovable Worker

What describes India better? I say "competition". Any average Indian is put into the rat race from the school onwards. He hears only the bells of competition. Competition to get admission, competition to get the rank, competition to get the job, competition to get the promotion! Instead of asking "where the competition is?", if we ask "where it's not?" we get better explained of the situation. That's why I felt the word "competition" describes India better than any other word. Competition gives little choice for Indians in their life. Perform or perish. It brings the survival instinct in the Indian blood. The survival instinct inculcates the sincerity, commitment, thriving for excellence in their attempts. That’s why India is looked as the best place for service through out the world.

In India it's always the story of limited opportunities with unlimited applications. It's only the process of elimination rather than the process of selection. It's elimination in abundance of talent not due to lack of talent. There may be "burn-outs" due to lack of opportunities but never be missed opportunities due to lack of talent. Indians are lucky. They got the biggest peer group in any category. That makes the Indian to always think "what’s more?" An unsatiated mind!

Indians are never afraid of toiling in work environment. Indians are never afraid of working in an unknown place, unknown culture with challenges ahead. Indians never complain about adjusting to the situation. Indians never mind to compromise on their ego for the opportunity. Either it's by choices or chances, Indians are flexible. The best workers of the world!

Even with this cut throat competition, Indians are bound by values. It's like a flexible structure built on the strong foundation where you can alter the design as you wish. That’s why wherever he is, his basic values are intact. He is sincere, honest, committed whether he works for an Indian company or an American company or an Arabian company. A lovable worker!

- Proud Indian Worker

When I missed my mobile...

Today I lost my mobile. Last I saw that when I was returning from office to home by the office van. I should have missed that in the van itself. Tomorrow I have to check in the van. Insha Allah! It’ll be good if I get it once again.

Suddenly I have been isolated from my world. My mom would be calling me, my would be -wife would be calling me; she may be sending sms also. She may get surprised on seeing no reply from me.

I went to a booth and informed my mom about the loss and asked her to inform my sister and my would-be wife also. My mom as usual expressed in desperation “when you are going to be careful with your things?”

The biggest mistake is that I am not maintaining any telephone diary. Also, I am not remembering any number except very few numbers which I have been using for long time. I remember my house no, I remember my dad’s no. Other than that I remember my office no. I am not remembering the bus driver no. I am not remembering any of my co-passengers no. All those numbers are in the mobile. Now that mobile is missing.

Before the arrival of mobile phones I used to remember a lot of my no by heart. Because, every time I was dialing from the landline phone. That made me to memorize the numbers. Nowadays I have hardly used the landline phone except the office intercom. I just select the contact person in my mobile and press the button “call”. Technology made me to be lethargic. Not to blame technology! I have become so lethargic with exploitation of technology.

I am so stupid that I have not given any number other than my mobile no to anyone. I am not able to imagine, if I get into some deep trouble and my mobile is not with me, I might not have been able to call anyone except my home in India while I am living in Saudi Arabia.

I am little prepared for a situation like loss of mobile phone. But I studied risk management and practice that in our investment appraisals. I was co-coordinating for emergency preparedness in my earlier job in a chemical plant. It'sCrazy! I don’t know how they gave me the job.

P.S : Its unbelievable. I got the mobile next day. The driver found the mobile in the bus and gave me the next day morning...

Living in Misery- Why Philosophies can’t help it.

“Joy- The happiness that comes from within”, “The Art of living-Manase relax please”- I have read quite a few books on my pursuit of understanding why I am living in misery. One thing good in all these books are they tell small but good stories to explain their ideologies/concepts/philosophies.

One of the biggest impacts of globalisation is the confusion of common man by the books of western and eastern philosophies. Both the philosophies differ on their outlook towards life. Definitely both can’t be practiced at the same time. After globalisation these philosophies were brought in the book form to common man. After reading all these books, he gets confused a lot like me.

When I start comparing Western and Eastern philosophy, the western tells me to try hard, plan for life, be ambitious, dream big and hope for the best. On the other hand the eastern tells me to give up trying, never be ambitious, forget the future, and live in the present.

Practically speaking, my life is mere replica of western philosophy. I believe the society is built on western philosophy. But this life brings me misery. So it’s clear that the western philosophy brings misery to life. That’s why I’m in search of books life the above mentioned.

Those books explained me why I am in misery. They told me that it’s due to pursuit of western philosophy in life. That may be true. They tell me to live naturally to get away from misery. They present a green pasture of life with eastern philosophy.

But I doubt will it be green even after I jump into eastern philosophy. More than that I strongly doubt will I be able to practice the eastern philosophy naturally. The practice of eastern philosophy itself looks unnatural to me.

Osho says love your work. Come on Mr.Osho! I am not able to love my work! That’s why I am coming to you. How stupid I should have been by just thinking that someone else will solve my problem. Ok. I am not able to love my work. Then, you say the same thing in different words, do what I love. Once again it’s a problem. I do not know what I love. I am sorry, I am very common man. What else you want me to do. You want me to meditate. How can I mediate when meditation doesn’t happen to me naturally? You tell me to live like an artist. Yeah! I wish. But I can’t learn to become an artist. Art has to come to me naturally. Isn’t it? You are right in saying that anything unnatural brings misery. But your philosophy of being natural to erase misery is too unnatural.

So what to do? Live in misery. Living in misery is natural. That’s life. Never attempt anything to erase the misery from life. Because it may add more!!!

Vendor of Sweets- by R K Narayanan

nA nice story built on the generation gap between father and Son. We can't say who is right?Who is wrong? Its just result of difference in the speed of reaction to the changes. One is fast. Another is slow. When the son westernize himself with Americal Education , the father believes in the Indian concepts. When the son catches up with "living toghter" with a foregin girl without marrying her, the father is not able to digest that. When the son wants to start the new business with Story telling machine, the father wants him to continue with vending of sweets. When the son talks about funding his new venture with his father's savings, the father refuses to part away with his hard earned money. He considers that as equivalent to squandering the money.

The book brings the 1960s and 1970s South indian life style. In one chapter the father reminisces over his "Ponnu Parkira incident" and his intial life after wedding. Its just great. It brings about how the marriage of our grand father and grand mother had been happened.

Nice Read !

Rejuvenating India- My first Visit to India as NRI

Last week, I visited India for my engagement. My first visit after 80 days stays in Saudi Arabia. The trip was so rejuvenating. Here, I have tried to explore why the trip was so rejuvenating to me.

I landed in Chennai Airport. Never, I have felt so patriotic about India like that. I took a deep breathe. I could smell the pollution. Still, I enjoyed. It’s the air of freedom. I understood the meaning of freedom when, I relocated out of India. Why not put all the Indians in Saudi Arabia for a period of six months. It may improve the respect for the country on everyone's minds!

It's a journey from desperation to cheerfulness. Desperation is not only due to second citizenship but also due to shorter circle of social life. We trim our boundaries to fit into local cultures and policies. Deep rooted cultures, religious fervor, dissimilar languages and distinctive nationalism creates visible barriers to mingle with the locale. This forces us to imitate Indian life in foreign land. It's like Eating India, Drinking India and Sleeping India but Living in Saudi Arabia. Some calls it as adapting to the new way of life. But I say, it’s trading our supremacy, our ego, our values and our rights for money.

India brought me back my supremacy. The given-up ego had taken back its seat within me. Because, I had reached the land where I am as equal as anyone! No one could discriminate me in India. Even though they discriminate, it would be done by fellow Indian, for the favor of fellow Indians. The crude joy of Nationalism filled into my mind.

Suddenly after three months, every minute started counting for me. The slow life in the fast lanes changed to fast life in slow lanes. I was occupied fully. The proximity to the near and dears, the inexpensive air time charges retrieved me from seclusion. Also, the salary in dollar had given enough m-power to play around with mindless shopping, relentless parties and first class traveling. As such it gave me a feeling that I earned that 80 days to enjoy the 7 days in India. But the reality is the payment in dollars not only has bought my brain and hands, but also has taken my heart for free.

Now you could understand why the trip was so rejuvenating for me.

A great book by a great Leader: Winning by Jack Welch

This is the ever best management book, I have read. The book gives an impression of listening to lectures by Jack Welch on various management practices and organizational issues.

The book is very pragmatic. When ever he explains a point, we could relate to our experience, our jobs, our offices, our organizations…

Every one of us comes across several management practices, systems and procedures in our professional life. Without denying, we could accept that most of the practices are being followed ineffectively or just for the name sake. After reading this book, definitely you will be longing,” will not I be part of an effective management system?”

There is a section focusing on career, right job, promotions etc. Must read! One could adopt as the prescription for professional success.

Great book by a great Leader!

How I met my Girl? / Rules of Arranged Marriage

One Fine morning, when I was in the office my dad called me.

My dad: Magesh!!!

I: Hmm… Sollunga (Tell me)

My Dad: Today Evening, I am sending a girl’s photo by e-mail. You see it.

I: OK

My Dad: Tomorrow, I have booked a rental car for going to Madurai. We are all going to

see the girl at “Tipruparangundram Temple”.

I: Why so urgent? I have not seen the photo at all? Let me see the photo first.

My dad: No, I have told them….. If the girl is ok, then we will informally fix the girl

(Poo Vaichiruvom)

I: Is not that I have to see the girl before confirming anything?

My Dad: Do you have to / want to see the girl?

I was quite surprised by his answer. What he is talking… In a strong tone, I Said “Yes”, I should see the girl before confirming. You go and see the girl. If she is ok for you, then I’ll come there. Have some more proposals on reserve. So, I could plan a trip.

My dad should have taken back on my “Yes”. Immediately in a Sentimental tone he said, I know your taste; I’ll do it if it’s good for you only. Tomorrow, we will see the girl. If it’s not good, then we will say “No”. But he implied vice versa.

There was a big silence. Then I said to him, first let the photo come. After seeing the photo, I will call him in the night.

I received the photo by e-mail. There were two photos. If they have come separately, then it is easy to construe that both are of different girls. Since, my dad talked about only one girl, I presumed that they should be the photos of the same girl. Photos were like that. I could not decide/say anything from the photo.

Then, I called my dad in the night. I told him the same. By that time, he had done full fledge arrangement for the visit to Madurai. He had invited two of my sisters, my aunt. I was surprised. I asked him, “Why these many persons to see a girl?” He told that they are going to the temple and will call me the next day from the temple.

Next day, I received the call from my dad.

Dad: We have seen the girl. It’s ok for all of us. What do you say?

I: What do you want me to say?

Dad: We are going to girl’s home for Poo Vaika (Informal Engagement).

I: So, you have decided, she is going to be my wife.

Dad: You will like her.

Of course, I like her. She is Ms. Vidhya, BDS from Sivakasi. I am getting engaged with her on March’10th and my wedding ceremony tentatively will fall on 1 st of June , most probably in Madurai.


Now, let us go to the second part of the Postl- Rules of Arranged Marriage

It’s about my experience with arranged marriage. If your choice is love marriage, then you can skip this and go to the last line.

Generally, if you look at the above conversation you may find the decision has been taken superficially without understanding the girl fully. You may think that I have not been given sufficient time to understand the girl. But I feel that is not the case. In arranged marriage simply it can't happen.

In any marriage, compatibilities between family and individual are looked upon. Generally parents are more inclined towards family compatibility and the prospects like you and me are more inclined towards the individual compatibility. As our parents love us the most, they will definitely consider our criteria ie. individual compatibility

Generally for a Tamil Guy, the following are the criteria looked upon to study the compatibility.

1) Religion, Caste and Sub-caste
2) Economic Status.
3) Horoscope
4) Qualification
5) Physical appearance
6) Frequency.

The list is not exhaustive. It may vary in everyone’s case. But all of the above are more common in the society.

The parents have the strong say in first three criteria and those are explicit in nature. You and I have a say on the last three items but these are not explicit in nature. For example, physical appearance and frequency … They are the abstract items.

As there is not much to explain in the explicit items, let us look at the abstract items.

When it comes to Physical Appearance, we can say slim, fair complexion… But we can’t clearly communicate what exactly we want. Even we don't know what we want. Once I liked my girl next door. Then, I liked some one, then some one…. they may be infactuations. The list is always changing.

Then, coming to the frequency… I have put it last in the list, because it is the last in the process. It’s one of the toughest parts in deciding on a prospect. We may have very little time to decide on this. When we come to this stage, already opinions, expectations have been formed on both sides. We may not know anything about the prospect’s behavior and attitude. We may be given 10 mins time to talk. one of my friend, Adi got 45 mins to talk with the girl... Even in Adi’s case he should have decided in the first few mins. You can’t continue talking with her for 45 mins and then you can’t say “No”.

In that few mins, we have to decide whether she is Ok for us or not. Is it not tough buddy? My sincere advice is relying on your gut feeling. Listen to the gut. It tells you. But once again it is doubtful will you be able to explain your reliance on the gut to others.

I'll narate some incidents for better understanding of gut... how this gut works.

Before leaving for Saudi Arabia, the last day at the airport I met a girl. My dad was very eager to finalise someone before leaving india. The horoscope came at the last moment and interestingly the it was matching. So my dad contacted the girl's family and expressed his desire to meet them. But the girl's parents told us that the girl is very sensitive, so they are not inclined to have the "Ponnu Parkira" matter at home. They told that they would come to the airport without revealing the purpose to her . At airport, I could have a look at the girl, if ok then we could proceed for further blah... blah. Already I had seen the photo. In Photo, the girl was Ok. Not something great but I could not reject also. I went to the Airport with open mind. We (I and my parents) took the chairs opposite to the girl and her family. The girl appeared very sad. Completely She was looking down. Definitely she should have guessed the reason for bringing her to airport or be informed about this "ponnu pakiria " matter. Might be some prospects should have hurt her a lot. She never looked at me. I felt very sorry . Its quite uncomfortable situation. I could not make my mind to say "Yes". You could imagine how much pressure I was going through to say "No". The decision is just by intutions. The intutions were drawn from the way she presented herself on that day. May be the conclusions I drawn abt her wrong also, but my sixth sense told me not to proceed further.

Now come back to Vidhya's case. Here also the same case. Photo was Ok. Still Can't say "Yes" just like that on seeing the photo. But my parents like her the most when they saw her in the morning and almost confirmed their desire to Vidhya's family. Once said is said. Now it'll be difficult to get back. I was very tense whether I would like Vidhya or Not. When I went to chat with her in the night, I was not in a mood at all. She came online. I sent my webcam. She sent her. On the first sight itself, she gave a smile. I said u have smiling face. She smiled little more. That's all I was almost bowled there. I felt very comfortable. Then I asked "You are the only one daughter to your Parents.How do they allow you to go to Saudi Arabia." This is my first question to her. She replied, " Ask my dad this question". It's like a slab on my face. I could guess the comfort level she had on the otherside. That's all the 10 mins plan for chat went more than an hour. I completely surrendered myself to her. Once again its about intutions, gut feeling.

Everyone of us have fear that arranged marriage means compromising something on our dream figure. Actually speaking, there is nothing called compromise. It’s just a game. If we understand the rules of the game clearly, then we’ll throw the word “Compromise” out of the window.

Let us approach the subject little more practical.

• First, the factors which are not explicit in nature may easily get compromised. Once again its not compromise. It's one of the rule of the game.
• Second, we are shedding our responsibility to our parents. Please understand they are doing their best within their domain. If I have been able to get a girl of my taste and frequency, then why the hell, I am in the table of arranged marriage and expect my father to find someone great. I’m not suspecting anyone’s capability to fall in love. Also, I am not saying as we are in the table of arranged marriage we are losing the game. What I’m saying is just open your mind and understand the game.

Third Part of the Post : My Mistake

Initially I didn’t understand the rule of the game. Always, I had fight with my father. I asked him to compromise on caste and horoscope on the fear of narrowing down the circle of prospects by horoscope and caste may reduce the probability of best girl for me. I don’t know whether it is right or wrong. But i pressed him to give up horoscope and caste factors.

Just look at the above paragraph. I'm just negotiating with the abstract factors for compromsing the explicit factors. So Apply rule No 1.

But my dad tried his best to bring all my concerns within his circle. I never tried to to draw my circle clear and take him inside. Without doing that, I was simply shouting by standing out of his circle. Still he never said anything to me. I didn’t take any responsibility, but commented a lot on his efforts. Authority without Responsibility is not good. Never do that. Either play the game or be the audience. Dont stand on the middle of the pitch and say obstruct the game.

Hard Learning....

How much should I earn?

Yesterday, I met a person, who is my friend’s friend. He is from west Bengal, But with British citizenship, working in Gulf. Suddenly, he asked me,” whether Kodaikanal is good or Ooty is good?” I thought he might have decided to go for a vacation and started comparing both these places as a tourist spot. But he told me that he is looking for some Holiday home in these places? I was taken aback for a moment. He started asking more information on regulations, infrastructure availability, nearest airports, shopping facilities in both the places. I told him that I don’t have any idea/experience on the above subject and I’ll get back to him once I get the information.

A Holiday home!! Hmm... Nice to have it!! A good place to spend retirement life peacefully… Till Now, I have not given thought about that. Today, it has been added to my wish list. My wish list is growing much faster than me. A home in the wish list has been changed to a Holiday home.
Similarly, A cycle changed to a bike, A bike changed to a car, A small car changed to a sedan. The wish list keeps on changing. Changes faster than my earning changes! Always put pressure on my earnings. How much should I earn? Have I taken this life only for earning? Please save me, I am becoming too much materialistic.

Know about Kamuthi- A lovely place of Kamuthian's

Location

Kamuthi is a town in the district of Ramanathapuram , south India. It is situated on the banks of the river “Gundar”. The King of Ramanathapuram is known for his assistance to Swami Vivekananda on his trip to USA to participate in International Religious conference.

Kamuthi is well connected by road and just 80 Km away from the nearest airport, Madurai. The main activity in the town is commerce. Kamuthi is the one of the major market for surrounding villages.

Education in Kamuthi

There are several schools and a Arts college in Kamuthi. Kamuthi schools are ranked one of the best in the District. Kamuthi schools have produced a lot of Engineers and Doctors. Earlier there were only state board curriculum in Kamuthi , but nowadays matriculation curriculum is also swiftly catching up among the people.

Secularism in Kamuthi :

Hinduism, Christian and Isalm are the major religion followed in Kamuthi. Beyond accomodating all the religious people, Kamuthi displays the true secular identity to anyone entering the town. The view of the towers of the Temple, Mosque and Church together is a nice representation of secularism.

Social Mix :

Kamuthi accommodates people of various castes. Some streets are named with the caste names like Nadar Bazzar, Chettiyar Bazaar, Muslim Bazaar etc. Even though kamuthians are separated by the caste, a strong brotherhood runs through them. Caste clashes have become the happenings of the past.

Pasumpon :

Another feather in Kamuthi’s crown is the Pasumpon. It is the birth place of revered leader Thiru.Pasumpon Muthuramalinga Thevar. It’s just a Km away from Kamuthi. The annual guru Puja at his tomb is a mega event in this area. The eminent people from all the spheres of life offer their prayers on that day in person.

Archelogical Interests in Kamuthi

Kamuthi has a lot of archelogical interests. The fort on the river bank is of historical importance and attracts tourist to the town. It is built by the Sethupathis during the 17th century A.D.,

A rare 10th century Jain Tirthankara sculpture, which throws more light on the Pandya kingdom's glorious past in the trade sector and prevalence of religious harmony between Saivism and Jainism during that period, has been found near Kamuthi .

Just 2 km west of Kamuthi on the Aruppukottai main road is situated a temple, where hundreds of villagers offer prayers to the deity, Vazhivitta Ayyanar, tonsuring their heads and sacrificing goats. When the Archaeological Department officers from Madurai visited the temple last year, they found two interesting `Vattezhuthu' inscriptions engraved on a slab, which dated back to 10th century AD.

The inscriptions revealed the existence of a Siva temple, Arikesai Iswaram by name, at Tiruporpunam, since the early Pandya period. The shrine had lost its trace even as the modern Ayyanar temple, which had come up in its place, started gaining popularity; the name and location of the former assumed importance in its historical settings. According to archelogical experts, Maravarman Arikesari, who ruled the Pandya kingdom during 650-700 A.D., was a contemporary of Tirugnanasambandar, the first among the Thevaram trio. It was Sambandar, who converted the king from Jainism to Saivism "at the instance of Queen Mangayarkarasi."

The exploration of the Jain sculpture, which had been made in the proximity of the Siva shrine created in the name of King Arikesari Pandya, was of much interest to historians. "It leads us to the surmise that Jainism had flourished up to the 10th century A.D. even after the revivalist movements by Saiva saints were launched during the 7th century A.D."

To know more about Kamuthi, you can either visit the town or contact me at mageshram4u@yahoo.co.in

Be proud of being an Indian !!

If one wants to understand one’s country better, one should come out of his/her country. It’s from my experience. For example, I knew India is one of the biggest democracies and achieved freedom in 15th August’1947. I have read that in my school. But I didn’t much understand the significance of being a democracy and a free India. Today I understand them by its true sprit.
Freedom- The true empowerment of the people lies in their freedom. Freedom to speak! Freedom to criticize!! We don’t understand that when “freedom” is given to us. We could understand better, when it is denied for us. With the relocation from a democratic society to a Kingdom, now I understand what the meaning of freedom is.

Let us look at some examples. When India voted against Iran on IAEA, the All India Muslim Forum (AIMF) blasted the government on India’s Anti-Iran Vote and describing that act as”Betrayal of Muslims in India” (Courtesy: Arab News, 7 Feb’2006). I don’t understand what Iran has done for Indian Muslims. Let us not get into whether the government’s decision is right or wrong. But look at the fact that they are empowered to question the Government’s decision. We can criticize India, still not be considered as “Anti-Indian.”

There are a lot of Islamic countries who voted against Iran and never questioned by its people. Because, they don’t have democratic system, they lack freedom to question. People could express their opinions. But only cautiously!! They are not empowered to criticize their highest institutions. The highest institutions of the societies without democracy are above questioning. Over a period, people develop the habit of not questioning anything. A kind of conditioning!!
Let us take another example. Recently the investigative journalism brought out the mockery of democracy by catching the parliamentarian red-handed for asking bribes for asking questions in Parliament. It’s real mockery of Democracy. There is no doubt on that. But, look at that event. There is a free media to bring out the clandestine practices of the highest institution of the country, which we can’t imagine without democracy.

The strength democracy lies in its system. It’s robust, self-critical, pluralistic, resilient and free in thoughts. The weakness of democracy is, it allows the people to use the freedom without responsibility.

I am proud of being an Indian. To understand India better come out of India.

Why the mood swings?

Why the mood swings?
I am clearly noticing myself. My mood changes every week. If I am high on this week, I will be low the next week, vice versa. Everything remains the same, every week my mood swings between high and low.

When ever I am high, I love to read, I love to speak, I love to write, I love to watch movies, I love to go for walk and I love to work in the office, I feel good about everyone, I feel ambitious, I feel strong, I feel busy on my schedule.

Suddenly all of the above disappears from my mind. Everything appears uninteresting in life. Suddenly I start thinking about what I am missing. Laziness creeps into life. Thoughts become wild, obsessive. Getting angry with someone I am afford to. Start worrying about future.

When I am in present, my thoughts are either in the past or in the future. When I am sitting at the home, my thoughts are in office, when I am in Saudi Arabia, my thoughts are in India… Always, my thoughts are somewhere else not with the “self”. I remember a story.

One person went to a “Rishi” and asked him, “I am also taking bath, you are also taking bath, I am also eating, you are also eating, I am also sleeping, and you are also sleeping. What’s the difference between you and me?” The “Rishi” replied that when I am taking bath, I think about bath, when I eat, I think about food, when I sleep, I am deep in my sleep. “Meditation at work!” That’s the difference. Simple answer!! But I could realize how much difference it makes to life.
Physically, when we are able to be at only one place, mentally we are omnipresent. The biggest riddle in human life! Human nature!! If, I solve this riddle one day, then I will become the rishi.
But at present, I could appreciate the greatness of nature. It shows me both up and down swings. Without one, I may not understand another. But if I don’t have downswing, there is no upswing for me, vice versa. I am in down swing. Next it’s going to be upswing for me. I am happy, I am natural.

How to face a Pakistani colleaque, when India is loosing the match against Pakistan?

“India Vs Pakistan”- When we say this, a kind of excitement, expectation, emotions catches up. Both the teams are considered to be arch rivals in the cricket world. Tension builds up automatically, when both the teams are equivalently positioned for winning. It’s not considered simply a sport, but something beyond that.

In my office, I have Pakistani colleagues. I won’t say we are very close to each other. But at least we do maintain a professional relationship.

Definitely both of us have the same fervor for our national team. Nothing wrong! But when we are too much emotional on the result it makes the environment depressing. We try not to show it off. But it’s reflected in the moods. It’s definitely a tricky situation.

Today it happened. I is sitting in the office. My Pakistani colleaque is just two seats away. Both of us are looking at the NDTV score card. India Lost.

Given the choice, When India is lost, I wish to express the anger against the players/teams/incidents openly. But it could not be done. Because, there is a person in front of me, exactly with opposite feelings…I know my criticism, comments are not going to be genuine. It’ll be just venting out the feelings.

With the thought of avoiding him, I started going out for a round. Unfortunately there is another Pakistani colleague is coming. Oh! God! Why today all the Pakistani’s are coming in my way? Shit! He smiles. He is saying “Hi… “in high sprits. I know he has the reason. Sticking to the professional code of conduct, I have to say a “Hi...” with a smiling face. But at the same time, frustration increases inside. Come on ! Words are not coming out. Hmmmmm...... after taking a deep breath, my “Hi…” comes out from a heavy heart on a smiling face.

I couldn’t imagine how the situation would have been during the war times….

Circle of Life: A Philosophy

Life is an exam, in which every one of us is appearing. In this exam of life, the syllabus is undefined, questions are unknown and answers are abstract. With an unknown syllabus, to an unasked question, with an unsolvable answer we are writing that exam and exit without result. No one succeeds, No one fails. But everyone competes;

When there is no success or failure, why we are competing in life? Why we never get satisfied with what we have. What leads to misery in life?

According to my understanding, we complete a circle,” Circle of life” in our life. Circle has no beginning and end to it. In other words, we can say circle ends at the start point. Similarly, life ends at the beginning point.

This circle of life is drawn over a medium known as time. Like the circle, time also has no beginning and no end, it’s eternal. But when we measure something with time, we make it finite. Conversion of infinite to finite! Absolute to Relative!! The root of competition!!

This circle of life can be run only once. However we run, how big the circle may be, the circle ends in the beginning. We say that we are running to win. But we are running towards nothing, which is the beginning. When there is no absolute goal or destination in life, winning has no meaning. When winning has no meaning in the circle of life, we created meaning for winning in the walk of life. We started competing in an unannounced competition, with an invisible competitor without a frame of rules. It’s similar to that how we could not view the full circle, when we walk over the circle; we can’t realize that the rules of circle of life also.

Adding to that, the circle of life has unalterable past and uncertain future. Once we have crossed a point, we could not come back. It’s a one-way. Also, always future is uncertain in this circle of life. Like how the direction keeps on changing in the circle, the future keeps on changing in the life.

Then, whoever, runs in the circle, wants to make it big? We measure the circumference and the area of the circle and cry loudly that “mine is big”. But we forgot that the ultimate destination is the same for everyone.

Also, this circle of life is written differently by different people. Even though style is different, everyone makes it to a circle. Forgetting the circle, we started naming the styles. We call them by Nation, We call them by religion, and we call them by race. It is like fighting over the hand writing rather than the meaning.

The conversion of absolute to relative doesn’t end with time. It has been extended to all the absolutes like behaviour, appearance, growth, size etc. We started saying good and bad, right and wrong, high and low, Pleasure and pain, happiness and sorrow etc. We started conditioning of mind towards one side and started saying this is only right. We adjusted the line according to our convenience and started saying that our life-style, our beliefs, our religion, our identities are greater than others.

Thus, the creation of absolute to relative, failure to draw the bigger picture of life, uncertainty over future leads to miseries of life like competition, fight over others. We can’t escape it. So, let us compete. Life is a misery. Let us live in misery.

--- The above is not an excerpt. But some idea has been drawn from my reading from J.K and SudhaMurthy's.

CONVERSATION Vs ECONOMIC STANDING

“Conversation is inversely proportional to the Economic Standing”. This is a statement by SudhaMurthy (Chair Person of Infosys foundation) in her book “Wise and Otherwise”. She explains that when travel by bus, we quickly get into the conversation with the fellow passengers without any reservation. When we travel by First class on a train or traveling by air, the chances of conversation get reduced dramatically. So “Conversation is inversely proportional to the Economic Standing”.

Why it happens? It happens. It has happened for me. It’s happening for me. I’ll happen for me. All other remains the same, what prevents me to converse freely in a high economic standing area? Exactly I don’t know the reasons for it. Also, I am not able to find any supporting theory also. I just tried to list down the probable reasons.

• My ego level increases with higher economic standing. I don’t want to hurt my ego in terms of poor response, fault of intruding his/her privacy.
• I wish to show him/her that I am self-dependent and I have good work to do (which I may not have also)
• I become more and more cautious in higher economic standing which prevents me to broach with someone who is unknown.
• I don’t want to show any kind of my ignorance to him/her.
• I start wearing colored hats and colored glasses. It distorts what I communicate to others and what I perceive of others.
• Suddenly, I start valuing someone’s personal values greatly.
• Wise people talk less!!! I might have wrongly misconstrued this statement.

Still, I have not found out why all the above changes happen to me in a “high economic standing area”. If anyone knows that please let me know.

My Experience with Hair fall and Some Hair care tips:

Recently I have relocated from India to Saudi Arabia. My Arabian life has started in bad notes with the start of hair fall. It’s very severe that the rate is alarming. I am noticing my hair everywhere wash basin, bath room, bed, table and on my shoulders. What’s in this new place? Is it the dry weather? Is it the food? Is it the water? I’m perplexed.

The hair, which I have never bothered, became my obsession. The problems which have always heard from others became my moaning. The worthless became valuable. Hmm. The world is round.

My experience with hair fall is very unsatisfactory. It continues, it aggravates, and it jeers at me.

It’s a toughest problem with simple solutions. But all the solutions are uncertain! Unproven! A lot of brands are available in the market with different ingredients, forms and colors. Everyone claims the strong and healthy hair. But no claim is proven. Also, the entire hair care market is unorganized and there is no scientific method to treat the hair.

Rarely people take serious of other’s hair, including the doctors. Of course, the doctor whom I visited was bald and he was just to ask me to inform him, if I find any answer. May they have realized that not much could be done!! Everyone gives different suggestions like Amla Oil, Mustard oil with Jasmine, Bramhi Oil, Moisturizer and special hair oils. It’s very difficult to call which one to use. Here, I am mentioning some of the suggestion as below.

• Lemon cleanses the dandruff. Soak the hair in lemon for half-an-hour before bath.
• Egg-bath may be the immediate solution to prevent hair-fall. Soak the hair with beaten egg for half-an-hour before bath. Don’t remember to take bath in cold water. Otherwise it may become omlette. Egg supplies the protein for the hair.
• Protect the hair from the vagaries of the weather. Wearing a cap may help to certain extent.
• If the water is hard, try to avoid using that water for the head. If not, at least at the end of the bath, give a final rinse with the soft water.
• Avoid using hot water for head.

I am experimenting all of the above. But the problem is still continuing. So, after some time, I may reach a stage where I may not need to worry much on that. I might have lost everything.

P.S.

• The website www.indiaparenting.com gives a lot of tips not only on hair care but also on day-to-day issues.
• If you have valuable tips, please share with me.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  

By 2020, India be a Developed Nation- Debate in Riyadh.

Yesterday (19/1/2006) I went to see a debate competition among Indian School Students in Riyadh. There were four schools. Each school was represented by a teacher and a student. The debate was organized by a Body of Indian community “SAMHATI”. It means integration. They have started this body to integrate the Indian community in Riyadh.

The topic for the Debate is “By 2020, India, a developed Nation!!” The dream of our Hon’ble President Dr. A.P.J.Abdulkalam! As usual, the event started as per Indian Standard Time. There was little delay in the start. Then, the Key note address! Then lighting of lamp of Knowledge! Then, few words by the chief guest!! The unwritten sequence of any event!! As it is little long from college days, these things are almost forgotten.

As the debate started, everyone was given time to present his/her points. Congrats to the teachers! The Students were talking better than the teachers!! It’s pride of the teachers. It should have been their coaching.

Even, I was thinking that what school students could talk on this subject. But to my surprise, they did well. The education has changed a lot. The secondary school students were talking about GDP, Sensex, Poverty, rural economy, service sector boom, missing of Industrial revolution, India –china comparisons and Unemployment Rate etc. It’s nice to hear about India, when we are away from India. I heard about Sensex only after I came out of Engineering. Here, I am seeing kids debating on Sensex. I was astonished when an 8th std. student handled the question on “how the Sensex boom is going to help Indian Rural economy”. He attempted so well that he was given the first prize. He got the claps of the audience for answering the question. Really a Budding star!

The topic is well balanced. Equally easy and difficult for the both the sides! For the opponent team it is easy that they have to simply point out the problems. Thanks to our media, it is being done very well by them. They have picked a lot from that. The difficulty for them is that they have to take a pessimistic outlook about the country. But fared well also. They went to the extent of presenting “Unity in Diversity” as “Confusion in diversity”.

The proponent team generally limited them to statistics on IT Industry, Top Indians in the world, Indian scientists in NASA and some Patriotic musings. The same old stories! But it’s easy for them to take an optimistic outlook

After the topic the next interesting thing was The Master of ceremony. He kept the debate alive. In between, there was a quiz on cricket also. One Interesting question was, “There was 10 ways a batsman could get out. Could anyone list them?”

HATS OFF TO SAMHATI!!!

What is Your Strength?

I have been asked several time this question, mostly in interviews. Recently I was asked by my manager on my first day of joining. Every time, I have bluffed some thing and escaped the situation.( I don’t know I have convinced them or not) . So, I have to find a convincing answer for this question….

Now let us come to the question. What is your strength? Let us not get into the definition of strength. With Commonsense, Not only the term “Strength” but also the purpose of the question is also understood broadly. So, forget the Oxford definition for strength.

I came to know from a HR guy that the purpose of asking this question is to find out how one knows about oneself. Should I know about me? Yes. The world says. But, to what extent it will be right. Sometimes I may think in someway about me, but others may not think in the same way … vice versa… Who is right? Is it me or others? or both.

With all this confusion, I started introspecting myself to identify my strength. Strength could be of in-born quality or from repeated practices. I have to identify that special quality/Skill/behaviour which is going to make me successful in life.

A lot of things started running into my mind like I am studious, I am hard working, I am disciplined, I am honest, I am aspiring,… the list is endless…

But I could not say all the above with 100 % assurance. Because, I am not always studious, I am not always disciplined, I am not always honest, and I am not always aspiring. ..

But majority of the times I am studious, I am hard working, I am disciplined, I am honest and I am aspiring….

So Studiousness, Hard work, Discipline in behaviour, hard working, honest, aspiring … could be my strength. Some are in-born and some are practiced...

But these are not unique qualities. Not convincing also. So I have to identify a unique strength.

If I were always studious, If I were always hard working, If I were always disciplined, If I were always honest and If I were always aspiring … then, it would have been unique.

I have to develop uniqueness by practising them rigourously (Could have been my new year resolution) or or at least I have to develop a unique answer such that it convinces others.

Hmm... I have to think differently… What is my strength?..

“What they don’t teach in any School: Insights from Rummy”.

Recently, I’m reading the book,”What they don’t teach in Harvard Business School”. I am not going to write the review on the book. But just want to relate my experience with a particular case in the book.

In the first chapter, the author is presenting “Golf-course Insight”. From the behaviour on the field, he explains the nature of the people. As I don’t understand much of the golf, I could not appreciate greatly about his observations. But I just want to do the same kind of study in my field of game. Mine is not an external one. It’s internal. It’s a card game, known as “Rummy” in the circle

About the game:

• Generally played by 6 to 8 People.
• Each game involves rounds of play and goes on till the last person remains in the game, while others get out of the game.
• Each game is played for 200 points. As one scores 200 or above, he exits the game as a loser. So, the objective of each round is scoring less or winning that round.
• Anyone can skip three rounds consecutively, if they feel the card is not good to get into the play. Score of 20 will be awarded for him for each skip.
• Every game involves some entry fee. That will be the prize money for the winner.
• If anyone gets out, he has the option of rejoining in the game, at the highest score of the remaining players; but he has to once again pay the entry fee.

Now, let us come to the point. What are the common behaviors?

Organizing the card on the hands:

• Everyone organizes 13 cards on their hand. Organizing the cards conveys a lot of message about their off-court behaviour also. Some people will hold the cards firmly. Some people hold the cards loosely and spend most of their time in interchanging their cards frequently between places. This behaviour directly relates to the level of confidence in the game and also in their attempts in life.

Body Language:

• Observing others body language is one of the necessary techniques to win the game. Because it gets information about the other’s cards. Some people will not communicate anything with their body language. Their body language will be the same what ever may be their position on the game. They look same whether they are winning or losing. These guys are very closed in nature; one can’t get much information about them unless they purposefully do it. They are very confident and convinced of what they are doing.
• On the other hand, some people will communicate a lot with their body language. It’s their nature. They couldn’t help it. Sometime the way they keep the cards reveals their position on the game. The common indication is talking during the game and the ray of happiness over their face. They don’t talk in tension. Tension comes whenever the points on the hand are higher. These guys are open in nature. They reveal their strength and weakness easily.
• Opposite to the reveal of body language, some reads it and take advantage of the positions. These guys are good in observation.

Time to release the card:

• In every move, one has to pick a card from the bundle and release one card to the bundle. The guys with better calculative mind release the cards very quickly. They are quick in calculating how a new card changes their position and the options of winning. These guys are analytical in nature.

Play/Skip:

• Some guys play only when they get safe cards on hand. They don’t take any risk in the game and skip the rounds, if the cards are not good. They have some criteria like minimum one joker and rummy. We could see that most of the time, these guys skipping the game instead of playing it. These kinds of guys are very patient enough to try anything new. Generally, they tend to accept the normal behaviour.

Rejoining:

• Some guys rejoin the game, even if the get out quickly. By rejoining they increase their stake in the game. But they one more chance to win the game. These guys are high risk takers. They try anything till last. They are persuasive in their attempts.

So, the list goes on like this. Hmm.. .I tried to observe the people. First lesson in the book.

Geographically branded "Barber Shops"!!!

Its quite few days that I have landed in "Hara" in Riyadh. The major population of this area is Expats, generally from Indian Sub-Continent(ISC), i.e, India, Pakistan and Bangladesh .

The area is so special that it represents true identity of Indian Sub-Continent (ISC) . The Indians, Bangladeshis and Pakistanis are living toghether... Here, its common to see Kashmiri Nan, Tamilnadu Idly-Sambar, Hydrabadi Tea stall, Pakistani roti and Bangladeshi sweets ... Geographical identity to the food!!! Ofcourse its common everywhere. Because some foods are special in some places.

But, the geographical identity doesn't stop with the restaurnats. It extends to the barber shops also , like TamilNadu Saloon, Bangladeshi Saloon, Turkey saloon and Pakistani saloon..... Whatz special with hair cut across the region? Is geographical name is meaningful for Saloons?

The obvious reason could be that the geographical identity attracts the expats from that area. For example, I wish to visit the Tamil Nadu Saloon rather than a Bangladeshi or Hydrabadi saloon. If I look further deep into why I attach the geogrphical identity to the hair-cut, I am coming out with the following:

• Everyone prefers talking(gossiping) in their mother tongue during hair-cut.
• Everyone feels comfort when a person of similar region is closerby.
• Everyone is more affectionated towards their native place rather than others.
• Everyone believes that hair-cut varies across the regions.
• Everyone doesn't want to take risk their style by doing hair-cut in unknown style.
• Everyone gives as much as importance to the hair-cut as food.

Is anything is left out?

The Greater Common good : Arundhathi Roy.

Its little late to write the review on that essay. But now only, I am reading . It's about Sardar Sarovar Project on Narmada Valley .

Let us not take the stand that whether we support the project or not. She is also not asking for that. She simply highlights the environmental and human cost being paid by the project. She has taken the "least studied aspect" in the "most studied project" in India as the subject issue for her thesis.

Look at the issue , Human and Environmental cost of a Dam ! Never be the part of Proejct feasibilty study and always be out of the scope of the project design. But still she could present enormous amount of data on the subject A lot of Data from a lot of sources !! She never fails to mention the source of the information. Mindblowing !!!

By taking this subject, she could not be emotional. Because it will be simply rejected as sympathetic writting. She could not be too straight on the issue, because it will look like a study report by a consultant. She could not leave much away from the facts. Because its a real story. She has balanced everything very well. It's emotional ! It's informative !! When I finished reading it, I could feel the impact on the issue.

Then, coming to the explanation of the subject issues like Irrigation system, canal design, power production and environmental sciences, even the expers could not have simplified so easy for the common men understanding. But Ms. Roy has kept it simple but lucid.

A must read . If you read it, if any dam is coming to your area, you will definitely fight against that.

Expat’s Nice Money !!!

This is a story based on real experiences. Its about ,generally how an expat Indian's life goes on in Gulf countries.

Mr.Gen is a mid-aged expat Indian. He had been invited by an Arab company to serve them. Happily, he bid farewell to his country astonishing the increased savings potential of the foreign offer. His new identity as “Expat Indian” surprised him, enthralled him and also frightened him.

In the foreign land, somehow the expats of same country, community gets together. Mr.Gen also joined the expat’s club. But, being a limited in their number and their choices, there is not much happenings in the expats group, except inviting each other for dinner.

Mr.Gen was explained the concept of “nice money” by their fellow group members. That is to earn “nice money” and return back. Nice money!! What’s nice of money or what the nice level of money is? Before coming here, Mr. Gen had not heard the word “nice money”. Till that money meant his salary, EMIs, living expenses and little savings. Even, the little savings was nice to him.

In the beginning, Mr.Gen got confused on the new concept. It took some time to understand the new walk of life. Slowly he got the crux of it and started liking it more and more. It is simply living minimal. Whatever the ways and means of saving money should be the way of life. Whether it is Accommodation, food, entertainment, transports or socializing doesn't matter. It should be cheap. What a Worthy idea! But there was/is only a thin line of difference from madness for money!!

But rarely, the madness of money is accepted and realized by expats. Generally, it is portrayed as sacrifice for his son’s education, daughter’s marriage, wife’s treatment etc. Greediness is hidden in the sacrifices. The present necessities are forgotten for future comforts. Carrer dreams were forgotten. Family bonds were broken. Parenthood was misunderstood. Togetherness was lost. The submissive calls of mind went unheard. Emotional needs were thrown outside. Mr.Gen is also not an exception. The “nice money” choked him also.

As time passes, the “nice money” started coming in. Mr.Gen continued buying a bungalow for his family, a sedan for his family, building the huge sum in bank deposits for their children’s future. It became very long that Mr.Gen started his new life .He went far away from his initial plan of returning back to his hometown in few years. Never it was comfortable for him to get away from chasing the nice money. Always there were uncertainities or sacrificies waiting for him. At last, when there are compulsions of age and mental strength, Mr.Gen got back to India.

In India, Mr.Gen saw the remnants of his nice money. There were big houses but with umcemented relationships. There was new car, but rarely places to go. There was enormous money, but it was too late to chase the dreams. He was continuously trying to search the niceties of the money he earned, money he saved. But fruitless efforts! It was too late, when he realized that the “nice money “was not nice. But he laughed. Because, now there are a lot more people, on the queue to chase the “nice money.”

A life of unwarranted sacrifices!! Its nice money!!!